Twins Twice...

So...the thought came to me today while praying to write a book. I even have a title: Twins Twice. lol I laugh about it because I have no clue how to write a book. Where do I go? How much does it cost? What sells? My story isn't really all that special. I know lots more who have far more better stories, testimonies and adventures than I do. But, anyway....I'll run with it. I refuse to live this life the way it is. I have to do something. I'm tired of this...I have always said growing up, my kids won't live the way I did. Granted, I didn't have it the worst growing up. It could always be worse. However, I do remember not having lights, running water and cooking over the fireplace, from time to time. I remember dumpster diving...not for fun either! I'm not going to sit here and talk about how bad it was, because it made me who I am today and I'm trying to learn from it. It could have been worse. Kids have it worse than that. I just know I want better for my kids. There are many things I will never understand and I just have to leave it at that. It is my personal drive to make it better for my kids. Obviously, I can't really work right now and honestly I don't want to. But, I wish I could contribute somehow! So...maybe, this book thing could work out. I don't want to be rich. There is a difference in being rich and being ok. I do believe we need to have a vision for a future and dreams. I have a vision for my future and for my children. I just want to be able to provide everything little thing for them, as needed! Not oh, I guess, we will have to wait until next week, or what have you. I just want to be able to run to walmart and get all the things that we need at one time. Pay all the bills comfortably. I want to budget and save money. I want to take vacations. I want to be able to fill both vehicles up and not worry about it. Then I'm reminded of the scripture: I shall not want...throws me all off! We are to be content with what we have and where we are, but how do you be content and still want better...!?!? I think it means that I don't have to want or buy every little thing that I want or like. I don't want to either. I don't want 20 purses, when I only carry 4 a year. I don't want 40 pairs of shoes when really I only need 12. I don't want more stuff than I know to do with. I want to live simply. I want to set an example. I don't want a Mercedes. Don't get me wrong, if the Lord wants to bless me, He sure can! I'm just saying I don't want to be filthy rich. I have a dream and a vision and they do seem a little foolish, far fetched and unrealistic at this time in my life, but God is not a respecter of persons, what He does for one, He can do for me. I don't think it's too much to ask for to have that brand new, single leveled, 4 bedroom 2.5 bath, finished basement, 2 car attached garage, daddy a work shop, fenced in flat-few trees, backyard, not on a main road, in the country-but not too far from the store, doctor and daddy's work...with the open floor plan...all the kid's room at one end of the house w/ the laundry in the hall way near the garage door...our master bedroom at the other end past the kitchen, dining and living room. I can see it, vision it and accept it! I think you have to know what you want. I just think it would be so nice to have a brand new home. I know your still going to be working on things, but at least it will be done and the way I want. I want to be able to watch my kids play out the kitchen windows playing in a fenced in yard, w/ plenty of space to RUN! I would also like to have a new van and daddy to have a new truck! At this point in my life right now,  you might say it seems far fetched, but it's my vision. I don't only vision this, but I speak it out of my mouth. One day I will have it. I believe it. God said he has a plan, hope and a future for me....not to harm me. I will be obedient to him and in turn I have his blessing. Again...I know money isn't everything. I am learning lessons and gaining faith now. But, ooh would it just be so nice to have this brand new home, new vehicles...money in the bank and savings. Be able to provide comfortably. So...something is going to have to happen. I know God will provide according to His will and I want His will over mine. Regardless, something is going to have to happen to reap this. Daddy a new job...? My options are low...I can't even think of many...but, I know my God! I don't have to sit here and try to figure it out because God makes a way out of now way. He is supernatural, which I know first hand! So...back to the book...maybe it could be a top seller! I'll definitely pray about it. God will have to direct me, my thinking, words and steps because I can not do anything without Him and His guidance. I wouldn't want to either. So....anyways...I guess I'm gonna try to write a book, if this is what God wants. We shall see, God willing.

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