I'm not sure where this is going to go....

I think I need to get out of the house and breathe in some fresh air! I don't think we have been out since Easter! Feels like the walls are closing in. I absolutely love my babies and will do anything for them, but Momma needs a time out! Sometimes it just feels as nobody cares about that part. If, that were the case, why isn't anyone here!? Everyone is just in their own little world, bogged down with the distractions of the world and forgetting the purpose. What happened to caring for others!? Sometimes I just wonder. I know everyone is busy and has their own lives, but you couldn't spare a few hours a week to help me!? Do you realize how hard this is!? I'm not complaining because God gives me the strength to take it day to day and sometimes minute to minute. But, I can't help to wonder why my family, who is supposed to be there through thick and thin, not just for the good times, or when I ask you too, but why they don't come or offer hospitality. Am I that awful of a person? Trust me, I know, I'm hard to get along with at times, but who isn't? I just know if I was given the other shoe, I would help more. The Lord just really makes me lean on him and go through things the hard way to have experience, to maybe help someone else. I should be thankful for that. It's just overwhelming at times. I am only human. I do need help sometimes. I do get weak. And, having no one here has made me rely on Jesus. So, all in all it's just lesson's learned, faith and knowledge increased. There will always be a million excuses for every excuse given. Afraid to make commitments and dedications outside your own bubble because you might have to dedicate some of your time and man power to help someone else. And, that's all it takes is you. That's all I wanted was you. You care and love me this I know, but when it comes to really caring about my emotional needs your afar. Have I really wounded your selfish pride and busted your bubble that bad? Get over yourself and do what's right. This world, earth and your purpose isn't to fulfill your own selfish desires. I will not let this bring me down because I am doing all that I can do, at least trying. The Devil will use anything and everyone to turn against you, but I've taken my side and that's the victorious side: JESUS! So, I need to let it go and give up. I'll love you, care for you and be an assistance anytime I can. Then, it's all in Jesus' hands to heal the hurt in my heart and he holds my answers. It's probably better off that I don't know anyways. Sometimes things are better left unsaid. It just shows you and is interesting to see where you rank in your families priorities. I cast all my cares, hurts and anxieties to the one is his almighty and who's name is worthy to be praised: JESUS. I release it unto you....