What They Say...

Sometimes all that sticks in my head is what people say... sometimes it is just so wrong what people perceive of us. For instance, I always hear, "your supermom" and if you have said this, there is no offense meant by this. I for one just don't believe it. You can call it denial or that I'm just not taking a compliment, but I am not. Yes, it is hard for me to take a compliment. I don't really know why, and that's another deeper discussion. But, if I were SUPERMOM: my house would be spotless, like I want it to be and it's not. I would be up at 5 a.m. to make my husband breakfast and get him ready and off to work, like I want to-and I don't. I would have all the laundry done, ironed, folded, hung and put away, and it's not. I would be able to keep up on all the appoitments, this and that......and I often forget or even bring the wrong kid(s). I would be able to play and teach w/ all my babies individually and all together each and every day and I don't. Wake up each morning and give God my first and most times I don't even make it out of my pajamas or get my hair fixed. I am far off from being Supermom. I wish I could see how I am Supermom, but all I can see is all that I'm not. When you are put into the position to take 4 babies by yourself everyday, you just do it. It's not like I can't. Not that I wouldn't if I could. I just wish I could do and be better. And, I have been inspired and sometimes discouraged by some of you because you seem so put together. But, I know there is only one is who perfect and that is none of us. Sometimes I do wonder where help is. Some days I go breakdown in the bathroom and scream at God. But, I have to get out of this pit and I have to do it. I know what I have to do, it's just doing it now. Like I say, the house isn't burned down and the babies have clean butts and are fed.
Another one I always hear: "you've got your hands full!" It's better than empty!
Don't get me wrong, I love my babies and this life I have helped to create, but I didn't know it would be this hard. And, this is just another lesson and level I have to get through. And, one day I will look back and think, "I got through it." Right now it just feels like a blur. I just have to take it one day at a time and sometimes minute to minute.