Your Will Lord

I can never begin to explain how grateful I am for such a loving, merciful and forgiving God that I serve! I don't deserve anything that He has given me and blessed me with! You see, I am humble! I see where the Lord has brought me from and how much more work He still needs to do to me! I am not the same person I used to be! I used to be strung out on drugs, running the streets taking and doing anything I could get my hands; maybe all at once! I knew I was doing wrong. I knew I was sinning! I would lay my head down each and every night and repent and wake up and do it again! And I even called myself a "Christian" for doing that much! Ya see, I knew enough, so I thought. Many "Christians" today only get this far and wonder why it's not working for them! It takes devotion and a relationship with HIM! It takes change and wantonness on our part! Go to church, pray earnestly-cry out!, read your Bible-confess it-out of your mouth; because there is power of life and death within our tongues and hide it in your heart, pay your tithes, be a giver, get baptized in Jesus name and receive the Holy Ghost and try to live the most righteously for Him that you can! Take the Word for what it says...there is no changing it! The Bible says not to add to it or take away from it! We have developed our own theories and traditions and meanings, but we need to get back to what it says; it means what it says. If it says it is a shame for a woman to shorn her hair; then don't do it! We have to start taking it literal! Christians today just want to apply what they "want", well, this isn't a pick and choose what ya want and leave the rest type of book! This book is designed to help us make it to heaven and not hell! I have had a personal experience with Jesus-through the Holy Ghost and for me to tell you that it truly is better than any drug, pill, drink or sex combined; you should believe me because I'm not making this up! If you would just lay your pride down and try it for yourself you could have your own testimony! But, we don't fight flesh and blood, but the devil. The devil doesn't want you to come taste and see, and that outta make you want to that much more! We have to stop right now...right here letting the devil call the shots and trying to dominate us! Jesus won victory over him that precious day on Calvary! The Bible says the resist the devil and submit to God and he will flee!!! The devil knows the name of Jesus and trembles at the mention of His name!!! It's only throught the power of the HOly Ghost that we can receive delierance and to have those chains broken that once bound us! I often look back over my life and see what the Lord has delivered me from and I see how much more healing and deliverance still needs to be done. The heart is like an onion and has many layers. Well, the Lord I hope, is finally getting to the bottom of mine! He starts coming in there and cleaning and sweeping and all this junk starts flaring up and we have to deal with it! We can't continue to sweep them back over a rug and walk over it and deal with it later. Sometiems we go through a breaking and makes us feel like we are being attacked by the devil and we will pray for it to stop when it's the lord breaking us, stripping us from ourselves, making us new! It hurts to be broken! But, it's in the breaking that we can become new! We grow, learn and move forward! The devil can throw thoughts in your head of depression and make you feel like there is no way out of this, but we can't listen to that! We press in harder; even when we don't feel like it! Even when we don't understand what is going on! We just submit and say, "Lord, have your way!" It's in the breaking that we drop our walls down, so He can have complete access! The Lord can deliver and heal every part of you inside and out all at once and sometimes he does it in seasons! The Lord has to get us in the position and shape mind and spirit to where He can use it! He is so holy and righteous! It's only through Him that we gain wisdom, understading, knowledge and discernment! I want what He wants for me! I want His desires to be mine!  I want what breaks His heart to break mine! I want to think, love and be like Him! We learn best by going through it ourselves and it's not just for "me", it will be used to help pull somebody else back from the ledge later on down the road! Some of you may not know what I mean by seasons. What I mean by seasons is our spirit goes through dry spells for instance....you may not hear or feel the Lord. You think where is he? Are you there? Do you still care and love me? The devil will try to deceive you and in this season people often leave! DON'T! It's in the dry season where the Lord is working on us. There will be more valley days than those up high on the mountain! There are many reasons for a dry season....strenghtnes us-faith, keeps our need for Him, aligns us with Him...Jesus suffered many afflictions and so will we! Then you have the weeping seasons...where the Lord maybe chastises us and redirects us...I believe this is a healing process...sometimes we don't even know why or understand, but we just have to be in unity with Him and His Spirit and move how and when He does! Weeping keeps us humble and helps us to really cry out and earneslty pray out to Him....we pour ourself comepletely out and He can come in and refill us...refresh us, see another season!! This is how we learn and grow! We must learn and grow! We can't die out! The Lord knows what He is doing, let's just commit and submit! I don't know what I am doing! I am unstable! I am a mess without Him!!! I have a true and real need for Him!

We need to be sensitive and grieve not the Holy Spirit. When we do wrong He will convict us-listen and heed to it! If the Lord tells you to do something; do it now! You may think, "I can't do that," but through His strength not your own you will be able to! This is where we put into action, "lean not on your own understanding." It's all for His glory anywyas! And, if you really want to know is that me or God; well, the devil isn't going to want you to do anything that Jesus would: run a victory lap, fast for 3 days, go pray for someone so on! 

I just really appreciate the Lord and how He is always there to pick me up! He never has left me, has never given up on me. He may have told me now a time or two and I'm thankful for those! I've done it on my own and screwed it all up! I"m tired of doing it on my own! Take over, Jesus!!! 

Don't stop, don't give up if your feeling down and gloom! This too shall pass! Get up! Change your perspective! Be thankful! Write it out! Talk it out! Cry it out! Just get it out and He will help you heal, learn and grow and get past this!