It's Time to DIE OUT!

Well, what I have been feeling and have had on my heart for quite some time now, has been confirmed by a great man of God last night. Here lately our services at church have been just totally sweeping me and awesome! I'll come in w/ something on my heart, maybe even something to say (which I don't) and it will get confirmed by one or more people, usually Pastor's. I love this! It makes me feel like I am doing something right and I am in tune. A couple of services ago, I had a testimony and had prepared myself to give it and it was literally spoken from my mouth from 2 different pastors!! I couldn't have said it better myself, seriously! I can't really remember every little detail or incident now, but last night's was: getting out of your comfort zone! It was so for me!! I struggle daily trying to get to that secret place and spend time in prayer, reading and meditating w/ the Lord. I desire to! I am hungry and thirsty for more of the Lord. I love worshipping and praising Him! I long to spend more time w/ Him! I can't wait to go be alone w/ Him! It's a battle all day though to get to! Here lately I have been having trouble sleeping and staying asleep. When I do sleep, I am waking up frequently and having crazy thoughts and dreams. I need peace, as a friend would say, and I couldn't agree more! Yesterday at church, morning service I had a heavy heart and bringing all 4 kiddos by myself because Daddy has to work Sundays now, I just couldn't slip away to worship and go pray like I wanted and intended. But, I took the kids to the nursery and I heard the service and I just felt in my spirit to get out there NOW. I was cleaning up the nursery as fast as I could and trying to round up all 4 kids and get back out there. I sat in the pew that the end is up against the wall and I just started worshipping! It felt awesome...a feeling I haven't really felt before. Honestly, I needed to just breakdown and really didn't, but what I encountered was the Holy Ghost's touch and the presence of God. I love it! There is nothing in this world that can satisfy me. I want more of it! I am hungry and so thirsty for more! I love Jesus and desire to be more like Him! Anyways, I got in there kinda late, at the end of the service and it was just enough I think, to get me through. I just love that. He knows what we need and will give it to us. Anyways, so I've had on my heart to get up early in the morning and get all my praying and reading in and putting on my armour!! Oh, that could preach right there!! I think we need to do this daily! It's a battle all day long for me to stay connected, in tune w/ God and that's why I feel defeated most of the time because I am not fulfilling my own desire to be obedient to Him. I've come to realize though, that I can't beat myself up. Do the best that you can. Give Him all you've got and move on. I strive though to be better and for me to change! I want and desperately need a change in ME! I don't like me, the flesh!!! I feel like I have hit some sort of fasting wall/block. I just can't seem to stick w/ it and be successful at it anymore. I want to die out daily though, to all my carnal ways, fleshly desires-the thoughts. I want to be pure, blameless, obedient and fruitful!!! It's all a work for the Holy Spirit and I know what the Lord has started in me He will finish and perfect! Anyways, the word that got me last night was it's time to get out of our comfort zone!!! I'm not a morning person, especially, w/ not sleeping well and getting up to let the babysitting kids in, up when Steven leaves, up when Dawson goes to school and back up when all the kiddos wake. I'm exhausted and miserable! But, it's time to make some of "me" sacrifices. It's time to get out of my comfort zone! It's time to fast again, be purged, be cleansed, reach new and higher levels and die out daily!!! It is a spiritual battle all day long, and the battle is the Lord's! I already have victory. When it is all said and done and you've been through the fire, where is your faith? Did you fall? Did you waver? Did you stand still and stay strong?? Did you stay grounded in the Word? Did you pray harder when it was hardest to pray? Did you praise Him, when it was hardest to praise Him. The Devil is under mine and your feet!! Don't let the Devil defeat you because you have the victory w/ Jesus. Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. I can do all things through Christ which strengthen me. The Devil must know God has something big for me to be fighting me this hard, and I'm gonna fight back! I'm gonna use the tools that the Lord gave me, put my armour on, get up early and seek Him...besides, seek ye first the kingdom of God and all these things shall be added unto you. If we wait until bedtime to spend time w/ him we are giving him our leftovers anyways. The bible says to give Him the first %10 of your tithes, and I believe that should be of our time too. I'm def. going to try! I need to!