All I Need Is You, Lord!

So, I just got home from church and told my husband that I was going to take a bath, eat a bowl of cereal and go to bed, but I have alot on my mind and figured to blog. I have really been thinking of blogging more and actually getting into it. It just takes so long getting it the way I want to.
Life may not be the way we want it to be and when you live for Christ you are going to spend more time in the valley's than on the mountain tops. In March of 2012, I was prophesied over during prayer and the Lord had a word for me. This has happened on more than one occasion. I truly love when the Lord speaks to me. I love feeling the Lord's presence. I love that satisfaction that I get, that I can't get anywhere else! He has me coming back for more and more! I am hungry and thirsty for more! It is better than any drug, drunk, buzz, high/low, sex...anything you can get pleasure from! I have never felt this way about anything! Sometimes when you aren't in the right place or where you need to be with the Lord, he will tell you. The Lord will let you know about it. I remember just a few weeks prior to this March prophesy that the Lord had another word for me. He said I need to step up, stop waivering, be consistent and faithful. God wants to take me to a new level, but he can't if I'm not ready or doing my part. He chastened me! Ouch!! Oh, did it hurt!!!? I still remember!  Hebrews 12: 1 Wherefore seeing we also are compassed about with so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which doth so easily beset us, and let us run with patience the race that is set before us, 2 Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith; who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is set down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds. 4 Ye have not yet resisted unto blood, striving against sin. 5 And ye have forgotten the exhortation which speaketh unto you as unto children, My son, despise not thou the chastening of the Lord, nor faint when thou art rebuked of him: 6 For whom the Lord loveth he chasteneth , and scourgeth every son whom he receiveth . 7 If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons; for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not? 8 But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons. 9 Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence : shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live ? 10 For they verily for a few days chastened us after their own pleasure ; but he for our profit , that we might be partakers of his holiness. 11 Now no chastening for the present seemeth to be joyous, but grievous: nevertheless afterward it yieldeth the peaceable fruit of righteousness unto them which are exercised thereby . 12 Wherefore lift up the hands which hang down , and the feeble knees; 13 And make straight paths for your feet, lest that which is lame be turned out of the way ; but let it rather be healed . But, thank God, he chastened me! He loves me so much, he's gonna tell me about it! He chastens those he loves! Anyways, in March I was told that I was going to go through the fire! Well, at that moment I already felt like I couldn't take anymore! And, now I'm going to go through the fire! What was it that I was just going through!!? So, anyways, he said: I'm going to go through the fire and that He would never leave me nor forsake me and that when we got through it, things would be better than I could ever imagine! God has great things in store for my family! So...this pretty much terrified me! I didn't know what to think. What was going to happen!!? So, the next couple weeks as I read and prayed, I felt something! God was speaking to me through His Word. I mean every time! I would even fight myself! I would just randomly open the bible and point and read. I would fight myself by not looking where I wanted to...look to where I wanted to and bingo! I have pages of scriptures about fire, joy, tribulation, trials, faith on and on. Oh yeah, that was another one he said: that I lose my joy when things aren't going good. I have joy when all my babies are well and there is enough money. It felt so good to feel God and to hear from Him! Then there came a dry season. I don't know 2-3 months of feeling numb, not really hearing from the Lord. Praying and not feeling anything. Seeking and knocking and not getting anywhere! Praying and asking, "where are you!!?" My prayer a lot of the time is, "I wish you could just talk back to me!!" Tell me what to do!! I know I lose my joy way to easily. I feel like I've lost it again and I need it back! I am miserable! For the past 4 years we have had financial problems. It gets better, gets worse on and on. Now we are about to lose our home, everything is/has broken down, house is in need of serious work, tension between Steven and I, our babies have been sick--2 hospitalized w/ pneumonia, it's been one thing after another! I am STRESSED and I need a break! I know just talking about doesn't sound all that bad, but it is until you are the one to go through it! I'm leaving alot out, but the Lord knows. Anyways, tonight I went to church and this guy, Bro. Geck's friend from Tell City church got up and spoke and I bawled the whole time! I felt so, limp so to speak! The presence of God really fell down as he was speaking and he wasn't even preaching! At the end Bro Barbour said, come quick and pray, and I couldn't get up there fast enough. I poured my heart out. I still don't have dry eyes. We have revival coming up! I am ready! The devil has fought me tooth and nail! I like to say, "the devil will never quit, but neither will I!!!) I know it's easy to see the here and now, BUT, there is a but, I know what was spoken to me! I am trying to stand on it. I know I fall, fault, waiver and doubt. But, I know my God! I know what his word says! My God shall supply all my needs according to his riches and glories by Christ Jesus-Phil 4:19. I can do all things through Christ which strengthenth me! Phil 4:13. He said: things would be better than I could ever imagine!!! It doesn't look like that right now!!! The devil is trying to deceive me! I  can't live my or be controlled by emotions! It doesn't matter what it sounds like, looks like, smells like, feels like; I know my God and he will come down and lift me out of this pit! He will never leave me nor forsake me!! My God is a healer-Jehovah-Rapha! My God is a provider-Jehovah Jireh! My God will never leave me nor forsake me! I may be in the valley low, but I still have the victory in Christ Jesus! Deuteronomy 28:13 KJVAnd the LORD shall make thee the head, and not the tail; and thou shalt be above only, and thou shalt not be beneath; if that thou hearken unto the commandments of the LORD thy God, which I command thee this day, to observe and to do them: I am a conqueror w/ Chirst! The Devil is a liar > TDIAL!!! I will not give up! I don't have to die here! I rebuke you, Devil, in Jesus name! Matthew 19:26 KJVBut Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible. He has given us all a measure of faith to receive! I release my faith! You can not stop me, Devil! The devil will attack you when you are in the lowest and biggest valley, and that's where the greatest victory is! My God will bring us out of all of this! He said, "things would be better than ever before!!!" I am ready, Lord! I can't do this w/out you! I give! I surrender! I need you, Lord!! ALL I NEED IS YOU!!
We have to keep our eyes and focus on Him! We can't let this world, this life distract us! I know I am swept away all to much and too easily!!! I turn to you, O God! I cry out to you, for your mercy! O God, I  cry out for your grace!!! Romans 8:26 KJVLikewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought : but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. My God is big enough to handle and fix all my problems. 2 Corinthians 2:4 KJVFor out of much affliction and anguish of heart I wrote unto you with many tears; not that ye should be grieved , but that ye might know the love which I have more abundantly unto you. Ephesians 3:20-21 Now unto him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us, unto him be glory in the church by Jesus Christ throughout the ages, world without end. KJV
KEEP YOUR  JOY! PRAY HARDER WHEN IT'S HARDEST TO PRAY! DANCE IN THE STORM! PRAISE HIM THROUGH YOUR TRIAL! IT'S NOT ABOUT ME!!!